Are you having marriage trouble? No, I don’t care if you’re fighting with your spouse I’m talking about your marriage at work. Business partners, whether you realize it or not, are engaged in a kind of professional marriage. Like a marriage, you come together in the beginning with a common goal of building toward a shared vision. This may have worked for a while, but now one or both of you have changed just enough to no longer fit so perfectly with the other anymore. Who’s the problem? Is it you, or your partner? Maybe you’re both ok, but you’re just no longer ok together. Studies show that many people running companies tend to be “Type A” personalities. Chances are that you and your partner have just realized that you are both dominant personality types. The symptom of your “dis-ease” with your partner is that you spend more time in a battle of wills than you do actually contributing to the company’s growth. The underlying cause of the friction is that maybe you’re both too strong-willed and not willing to accommodate the other. Our philosophy here at The Growth Coach isn’t necessarily that opposites attract and fit well together either. We believe that it’s more about complements attracting and coming together that work out best in the long run. We believe that there is still a chance that you can get through to your difficult business partner and eliminate the turmoil that has come to define your relationship. To do this, it’s important that we get you on a strong business partnership detoxification program. First, focus on getting rid of all the emotions considered to be toxic to your partnership. Emotions like anger, resentment, jealousy, suspicion and bitterness are all highly toxic. By allowing any of these emotions to grow inside of you, they become emotional tumors to your relationship. By managing your perceptions and increasing your skills to deal with your difficult partner, you can eliminate these self-defeating emotions. Here are some steps on how to do that. 1) Focus on effective communication, not necessarily more communication. You can communicate all day long with your partner, but if it’s not effective then you’re getting nowhere. Learn effective communication techniques. You can communicate effectively by asking questions. Through the steps of value finding and fact finding, you may find the source of agitation for your “difficult partner.” The key here is to listen more and speak moderately and in a well thought-out manner. 2) Neutralize your perception. Get outside of your workplace environment and shift your focus of conversation to something outside of your work. Contrast is the most amazing thing for perception sometimes. 3) Shower them with praise. The quickest way to a business partner’s heart just may be through their ego. Validate them for their contributions and make sure they know you see the value they add to your company. Send them appreciation emails. Three lines are about all it takes to let someone know you recognize what they did for the company. 4) Communicate trust. The less trust you have, the more friction you’re going to build in your partnership. Show your partner ways they can trust you and find ways to rebuild your trust in them. Show them regularly that you do trust them. Your partner may have become annoyed or difficult to begin with if they sensed you didn’t trust them. 5) Consider the fact that maybe it’s you that’s become hard to get along with. Sometimes by trying to fix the other person we’re going about things backwards. By fixing yourself first, you may end up fixing the situation. 6) Eliminate the “you” vs. “them” mentality. Train yourself to think and talk always in terms of “us” and “we” when speaking to your partner. They’ll be quick to pick up on it. Make your language embrace rather than isolate. 7) Show them that you’re not greedy. You’re working to build the same money pile for the most part anyway. Send them a client that you could have taken for yourself. Do anything to demonstrate your willingness to share. 8) Show them that you have their back. People resist you and put up walls out of fear of losing something. Maybe it’s their pride. Maybe it’s money. Let them see that you are looking out for them and are not out to get something from them. 9) Ask their opinion on a variety of decision-making topics. Follow up with, “I think you’re making a good point.” 10) Let them shine. Don’t take every opportunity to be the spokesperson for your team. On that next speaking opportunity, let them do it or at least ask them if they would like to. Offer to let them write are article for the next company newsletter. Find out what agitates your difficult business partner. Once you know what it is, maybe you can then work to alleviate their pain. If you’ve tried all of this and nothing works, then maybe it’s time to rid yourself of this emotional and financial liability. Good luck in making that determination. Jonathan Goldhill is CEO of The Growth Coach in Los Angeles, a business coaching company serving entrepreneurs and small business owners. Jonathan can be reached at (818) 716-8826 or emailed at [email protected]. To learn more about his unique coaching programs and services, visit www.TheGrowthCoachLA.com
