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Friday, Mar 29, 2024

Don’t Hate Me for Inventing the Cell Phone

Remember how Al Gore invented the Internet? Well, I invented the cell phone. Skeptical? Well then, just Google “Martin Cooper” and you’ll see. The Economist, in its June 6 issue, devotes two full pages to my invention. It includes a quote by one of the Federal Communications Commissioners, Robert McDowell: “Marty is the most influential person no one has ever heard of.” A back-handed compliment if ever there was one. At first, I was incredibly proud of my invention. It would help people seek assistance in an emergency; notify an appointment that freeway traffic would once again delay an on-time arrival; and allow children to notify parents that they were safe. Soon every cool kid had a cell phone they were the 21st century version of math majors walking around campus with slide rules on their belts. The really cool kids owned two cell phones. And the simple concept of using my telephone without being tethered to Ma Bell’s wires morphed into a little machine that could take pictures, play games, surf the Web, and of course, provide texting capabilities. Cell phones have truly become ubiquitous. I’ve spotted them in the manicured palm of a woman on a treadmill at her Ventura Blvd. gym; in the gnarled hand of a horseman astride his steed in Chatsworth; and pressed against the ear of nearly everyone who crosses almost any street in our city. Nothing is more annoying that dining in a fine restaurant and being forced to listen to someone’s private cell phone conversation. Or having lunch with someone while they are texting or checking emails. Probably the most ignored law on books is the recent ban on using cell phones while driving without the use of a hands-free device. According to an editorial in the July 23, 2009, New York Times, “We find it terrifying every time we get on the highway and see all of those multitasking drivers racing along while they yammer and text on cell phones, juggle hot coffee and a Mc-whatever or attend to personal grooming in the rearview mirror.” Each year, cell phone use contributes to an estimated six percent of all crashes, which equates to 636,000 crashes, 330,000 injuries, 12,000 serious injuries and 2,600 deaths, reported the Harvard Center of Risk Analysis. They also reported that the annual cost of crashes caused by cell phone use is estimated to be $43 billion. According to the National Safety Council, drivers who use cell phones are four times more likely to be in a crash while using a cell phone. Their research shows that “it is estimated that more than 100 million people use cell phones while driving.” What the NSC didn’t report is that most of them are driving directly in front of me! And then there’s my personal favorite: people driving in the fast lane of the freeway at a leisurely 50 miles an hour while on their cell phones. They figure that they’re safer if they drive more slowly, totally unaware of the long line of frustrated drivers behind them. Actress Sharon Stone neatly summed up how people misuse my invention: “I drive with my knees. Otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on my phone?” But it’s hard to top the dexterity (and one might even say stupidity) of Buffalo, N.Y. area tow-truck driver Nicholas Sparks, who last month admitted to the local sheriff that he was using two cell phones at the same time while driving, one for texting and the second for talking. He crashed his flat-bed truck though a gate and into a swimming pool making him all wet, literally and figuratively. Despite the recession we’re grinding through, there are those who have to show that they have more than the rest of us. Even with cell phones, conspicuous consumption rears its ugly (and expensive) head. A company called Goldstriker is selling a Nokia 8800 Arte Brilliance, which is embellished in 24-carat gold with 60 clear Swarovski crystals. It comes with a 24-carat gold charging dock and a 24-carat gold Bluetooth accessory. It can be yours for a mere $3,275. And because you’ll want to be sure you’re dealing with a reputable firm, there is a crawl across Goldstriker’s website proudly proclaiming: “Goldstriker International have now opened their Flagship store at Saksaganskogo 58, Kiev, Ukraine.” Must be lots of rich and profligate Ukrainians. But let’s get back to the inventor of the cell phones me. I made the first public telephone call from a portable cell phone on April 3, 1973, while walking the streets of New York. At the time, I was the general manager of Motorola’s Communications Systems Division. Oh, I forgot to mention there’s another Marty Cooper. He’s the one who invented the cell phone. “Apparently we love our own celphones but we hate everyone else’s.” Joe Bob Briggs Martin Cooper is President of Cooper Communications, Inc. He is President of the Los Angeles Quality and Productivity Commission, Founding President of The Executives, Vice Chairman of the Boys & Girls Club of the West Valley, and a member of the Boards of the Valley Economic Alliance and the LAPD’s West Valley Jeopardy Program. He is a Past Chairman of VICA and currently Chairman of its Board of Governors; Past President of the Public Relations Society of America-Los Angeles Chapter; and Past President of the Encino Chamber of Commerce. He can be reached at mcooper@cooper comm.net.

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